An Essay on Erotic Spanking

Erotic spanking has been around for thousands of years. In its purest form it is the gentle love-play between consenting adults, primarily a wife and husband. It could be the husband spanking the wife or just as likely the wife spanking the husband. Sometimes it is both.

In case you are not aware of exactly what an erotic spanking consists of, it is the same stuff of traditional disciplinary spankings. The spanker slaps the spankee's bottom or back of the legs with his/her palm or an instrument (hairbrush, wooden spoon, paddle, belt, switch, cane, etc.).

With erotic spankings, however, the spanker is very conscious of the spankee's pain and gives just the right amount for that particular person's needs. For some, a mild hand spanking is more than enough pain, for others, a severe caning that leaves welts or bruises or cuts is what's needed.

(As long as the spanking is consensual, it is not up to me or you to judge the spanking as abusive. Certainly spousal or child abuse is a horrible crime and not condoned by anyone in the spanking community. Erotic spankings are meant to be fun and sexually stimulating, not abusive. They can be as light or as harsh as needed.)

No one knows exactly why spanking is such an erotic turn-on for some people. Perhaps it's regression to childhood, the feeling of being dominated and helpless, the purging of guilt, the nudity and particular body parts involved (usually the bottom), or just the sadistic pleasure of giving pain to another. Many of the stories on this web site explore variations of these themes in attempts to understand this "kink" better.

Personally, I think it stems primarily from the inherent vulnerability of humiliation.

When one is being spanked, one feels incredibly humiliated and abased. Since erotic spankings are consensual, you are basically opening your soul to your lover. Being so vulnerable and still feeling loved and secure is incredibly arousing, for either male or female. This is why erotic spanking and other forms of S/M that involve trust (like bondage, for instance) can be so intense--there is no way to get more intimate with your partner faster than through erotic spanking. (Again, this is a theme you will find in my stories.)

Of course that explanation is primarily for "bottoms" not "tops." (In case you do not know, bottoms receive spankings, tops give them; "switches" enjoy both roles.) I think tops, unless they are switches, primarily enjoy the physical aspects of the play: the touching, the hot spanked flesh, the quivering rump, etc. Switches enjoy that too, but also fantasize about receiving the spanking they are giving. (The irony of switches is that they are never content: when being spanked they fantasize about giving the spanking.)

So what about the moral/ethical implications of erotic spankings?

I see no problems here. Erotic spankings are simply a form of sexual play between consenting adults. No one is harmed or forced to do things against their will. If you find stories here that deal with non-consensual spankings or sex, keep in mind that these stories are fantasy--no one is suggesting that this stuff would be good in real life. In fact, you will usually find that spankings in stories (especially punishment spankings) are far more severe than anything in real life. Such is simply the nature of fantasy.

The same goes for spankings of children. These are fantasy. Parental discipline is a completely different issue (and completely private and personal, IMO). Many people interested in erotic spankings have extremely intense feelings regarding their own spankings as children--stories of childhood spankings revive these memories and are very special. No one is necessarily saying that children need to be spanked in real life, especially as described in many stories. (The only caution I'd put here regarding children spankings is that I think erotic spankings are exactly that--erotic--and involving real life children with sexual situations is not something I would condone at all.)

The main thing to stress regarding erotic spanking is that it is play. Do not forget that. Much of erotic spanking involves scenarios and pretense: I'll be the strict schoolmaster and you can be the naughty child, etc. All the stories on this web site are exactly that--erotic play, fantasy for the libido, if you will.

So whether you are new to spanking or an old hand, browse and enjoy. :)

The Flogmaster
February 3, 1996